I have been struggling for quite a while now to understand the division in our nation. I often find myself on the other side of the fence from those very near to me, and find that really puzzling. Most are people who have been in my life a very long time and many are the people that I love and respect the most. There have been many times when I have tried to engage in dialogue to understand those differences; wondering if they have something to offer that I have been missing, something that might change my mind. I can’t promise to have no political bias, but I can promise a very sincere, healthy curiosity about the division and a willingness to entertain other’s opinions.
This is the perfect time for me to say that I don’t hate anyone politically. I don’t hate anyone who disagrees with me politically. I have decided that each of us lives very different lives, with different influences and priorities. That alone serves up tremendous diversity. I am here to grant respect for those who see things differently because we all have walked different paths. I can’t judge their pain or angst as you can’t identify with mine. Because it is mine.
All of that being said, sadly I am most often met not with the same curiosity about differences and more often than not with being told “I can’t have this conversation with you.” That I can’t comprehend. I’m not here to change your mind or to dissuade you. But I want to understand you. I can get animated in my discussions, but you can’t hurt my feelings. I am only trying to learn.
It’s harder than ever to find straight facts. And our algorithms don’t help. So I try to read and follow websites and networks with opposing views to find the truth in the middle. What initially blew my mind was watching all of the vitriolic posts and memes, from all sides. Do grown people really believe that that is helpful? Is it going to change people’s minds? What are people’s intentions with the implied hate and negativity? Both parties. What compels people to need to imply having some inside information that the rest of us don’t know or understand? That they are smarter than the rest of us with ugly posts? If someone can tell me what they hope to achieve with negative political posts, I would love to know. I don’t believe that it’s enlightenment. They don’t feel that way. Both parties.
I am a BIG believer in free speech. People have the right to do/say anything and I support and respect that. I’m just trying to understand your message. I could count on one hand the posts that are political things that are truly positive for every American. “Why not?” is what my head and heart are screaming.
Charlie Kirk’s assassination has elevated my confusion even more. And what blows my mind even more are those posting “thoughts and prayers to his wife and family but….” But what? Is there a justifiable “but” for any loss of life? I’m not sure I can or want to define a reason to rationalize why someone deserved to die. What do I really know about them personally? I don’t have that right to speak to their circumstances. I feel that way about any loss of life, whether it be from school ahootings, domestic violence, criminal violence, you name it.
We need many things in this country. Better gun control, better mental health care, better politicians to name a few. But what we also need are better citizens. If we only worked at finding common ground as hard as we worked at jabbing at each other, what might happen? Makes me wonder if people TRULY want peace, or whether they only want it on their own terms.
I would be sad, if at my funeral, I was only remembered for my political views. That would break my heart because I think that there is much more to me than what and who I vote for. My political ideology is just one small piece of my composition. And it will always remain that way. I refuse to give in to the division of families, friends, acquaintances, anyone over politics or any other “one topic”. It’s crazy. Especially because the next election is always just around the corner and everything can change. The other is that I don’t want to be that person in my family’s and friends’ lives. My desire is to let you be you and let me be me, and respect that other people have every right to their opinions even if I never understand them. I will fight hard against letting their ideologies change my opinion of them. What does affect me is slewing hate and negativity. It hurts to see a constant barrage of political crap intended to show how you know so much better than the rest of us. That’s what it feels like. It implies that you know more than the rest of us. And that specifically is why I try hard to not engage in politics on social media. Understand that we will never all see eye to eye and that’s okay. We’re not supposed to.
I don’t have all the answers. I only have one. Think before you post publicly. Both parties, all sides. I’m not here to challenge or change your opinion. I just don’t see us finding a way to unity when we continue to share divisiveness.
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