Loss, Love, Lent

Lent is coming.  I want to do something meaningful this year.  It’s going to be difficult because I don’t think I’ve been able to stick with anything consistently for 40 days since “before”.  And honestly, I wasn’t all that good before that!  To me, Lent is a combo of sacrifices/self-improvement/spiritual growth.  Giving up candy is a sacrifice, a penance, if you will.  Nothing wrong with that, as there’s a good discipline in that and usually healthier for you.  Next is working on you and how you can improve yourself.  Maybe it’s for yourself, maybe it’s because you know you have a short temper, short on patience, need to exercise, need to listen better, need to read more, spend less time on social media or watching tv.  It could be one or ten of a million things.  And finally, I believe Lent warrants working on our spirituality.

So, I’m trying to consider how best I might observe Lent so that at the end of 40 days, I am not only renewed in my faith, but in my spirit and life.  Maybe I expect too much, but if we don’t believe in God and what miracles He can work, we’re not likely to be on the receiving end now, are we?

The sacrifice this year for me is easy to identify, but won’t be as easy to accomplish.  I cannot shop.  I cannot purchase one thing for me personally or for the house.  If I need a repair, that’s one thing, and I can still buy gifts for others.  But I must stick to wedding gifts, birthday gifts, no more “just because”.  So as far as killing time “window shopping” and coming home with items I don’t need, it’s long past time to stop.  Seriously.

I’m not sure which self improvement item to tackle.  The potential list is long.  Part of me thinks it needs to be something physical, as I struggle to get enough steps in, or the exercise that I need.  I know that if I accomplished more of that, I would not experience as much anxiety and would sleep better.  That alone would result in me being in a better frame of mind.  If I limited Social Media and the television, miracles could occur right on my very own street, I’m sure of it!

Spiritual growth.  That is more personal, but I believe it can also be very public.  Spirituality is not just your personal relationship with your God.  Spirituality is treating God’s creatures with love and respect.  Rich Mullins, Christian singer/songwriter once said “Spirituality is getting up and making your bed in the morning.  It is raking your neighbor’s leaves, or taking them cookies.”  I think it’s also about sharing your gifts that God gave you in the first place.  It’s about obedience; obedience to the Ten Commandments; obedience to the Golden Rule; obedience to what we know is right versus wrong in our hearts.  Through these exercises we will become a stronger spiritual being and closer to our God.  I love engaging with people who are often ignored and taken for granted; the person working the drive-through window, the bank teller, the bag boy at the grocery store, or even the cashier.  Those people are all performing a service for us.  Can we not be pleasant and gracious?  A smile and an acknowledgement goes a long way.

My point with all of this, is that I think that it all fits nicely into finding ways to manage my grief.  I know that things won’t always be as difficult as they are now.  I know that the grief will never go away.  I know, also, that there are ways for me to learn to manage better than I’m doing now.  But I’m going to plead that it’s been just two years so I officially only hold the status of a second grader, so don’t expect overly much.  But since God has perfect timing and Lent is less than a week away, it’s time for me to be ready.  I’ll let you know after Easter what I did and how I managed.  Hoping for miracles, but praying for persistence.