Broken But Not Beaten

Life is full of twists and turns and peaks and valleys and you can never be sure just what is around the next bend.  I recently hit a rough patch (literally) and it was the most serious event I’ve had to face since being widowed.  I fell, broke my right humerus (ironic name for a bone that has not proved to be the least bit funny so far) into 4 pieces.  It took two surgeons, 2 1/2 hours, one plate, thirteen screws and 49 staples to put me back together.  Painful and scary to be sure but certainly not the worst thing to happen at all.  But doing it all alone was something new and frightening.    I remember the surgeon just before surgery expressing doubts and outlining the not so wonderful options.  I think as much as I have missed my beloved husband in these past years I have never missed him more than those moments before I was rolled back to the OR.  What the surgeon had to say was not encouraging and all I could think of was how I would cope being alone.  I will never be able to prove whether it was the drugs or a wonderful visit, but the last thing I saw as I was going under was my husband’s reassuring smile with those bright blue sparkling eyes letting me know all would be well.

The hospital experience left a lot to be desired, but I was blessed with a gifted surgeon and some incredible nurses and CNAs.  I had what I needed where it mattered.  I was released with no use of my right arm or driving for at least six weeks.  I was released with no home health assistance even though the doctor had ordered it.  That created some really difficult situations because I could not remove or replace the immobilizer on my arm by myself.  That meant that many tasks were difficult to impossible for me to achieve, not the least of which were bathing and dressing.  It took time, but thanks to a wonderful HR Department at my place of employment, I have what I need now and am deeply grateful for their persistence and generosity.

I am just shy of a month into this journey and have had several epiphanies along the way.  The first is that I am and have been far from alone.  I knew I had wonderful people in my life but never in my life dreamed of just how blessed I am to have friends who have put their own lives and needs on hold to be here with me so I wouldn’t be alone.  From arriving in the ER in the ambulance and having someone there within the half hour to having three friends there during surgery to friends taking me home, staying with me, cleaning and cooking for me, taking me on necessary errands and just being with me as I recover has been extremely humbling and eye opening.

This experience has been painful and scary.  But it also has been such a revelation on so many levels.  There have been other occurrences early on, where much like seeing my husband’s face I have felt reassurance from my mother and father individually.   I was blessed with a new granddaughter that brings me more joy than I can put into words, even though I have yet to meet her.  My friends and family have been right here with prayers and their presence, offers of assistance, cards and flowers sent for encouragement, meals for sustenance, housecleaning and mowing.  The list goes on and on.  People have been truly incredible and shown just how much they care.  No lip service with my friends and family.  I am so proud to say they walk the walk.

I will never be able to repay all the kindnesses shown to me.  But know I will do my best and I do not take this lightly.  I truly am blessed and privileged enough to live within a tribe.  My tribe is large and far reaching.   They extend from coast to coast and border to border.  Silly me.  I was afraid of being alone.   I have never been more enveloped in love and generosity.  And I thank God each and every day for being blessed beyond what I deserve.

I will recover.  I AM recovering.  And a word of caution; as I emerge from this I believe I’m going to rise like the Phoenix stronger than I have ever been.

All because I get by with more than a little help from my friends.   God is so very good.  And what an incredibly wonderful world I live in.

Special thanks to Chad, Judy, Karen, Becky, Patricia, Kay, Rhonda, Kathy, Christine.  There are no words for who you are for me.   xoxoxo